The H’Mong people of Vietnam, known for their vibrant culture and rich traditions, have unique wedding customs that have been passed down through generations. These customs are deeply intertwined with their beliefs and values, offering a fascinating glimpse into their way of life.
When spring comes, streets in northwestern region Vietnam are filled with colorful brocade of young women going to the market, going out for spring or participating in wedding ceremonies in the village.H’Mong people often choose this season to hold wedding ceremonies because they believe that spring is the season when all things proliferate and the weather is the most beautiful and mild. To have such meetings, relationships and become husband and wife, every market-day, especially the H’Mong New Year, boys and girls aged 13-15 invite each other to the market. The young women change into new clothes, put on makeup to make themselves more beautiful and then blend into the bustling atmosphere of the market to go on a date.
H’Mong boys in Lao Cai, or Ha Giang… often choose girls who are big and strong, with firm calves and plump buttocks. According to their beliefs, those girls are good at farming, spinning yarn, giving birth and raising children.
According to the customs of the H’Mong people, marriage must be held on a good day, and have enough rituals such as betrothal, engagement ceremony and wedding procession ceremony, all of which are held on auspicious days and months. The betrothal ceremony requires two matchmakers who are familiar with the wedding ritual songs, connecting the two families to complete the betrothal procedures and set a date to pick up the bride.
To prepare for the wedding, the groom’s family will invite family members to discuss and prepare wedding presents. In addition to pork, chicken, cash and some other items, tobacco and corn wine are two indispensable things when beginning the wedding story. The ancestral offering tray cannot lack five-colored sticky rice and pork, usually prepared by the groom’s mother or an older woman in the family.
On the big day, relatives and wedding attendees often wear the most beautiful traditional costumes embroidered and sewn by H’Mong women. When the groom’s relatives have gathered, the head of the family hands over the offerings to the matchmaker and together carefully checks the offerings, assigns tasks, and they drink wine together.
H’Mong weddings always have a groomsman. After the head of the family burns incense on the ancestral altar, the group leader (matchmaker) will guide the groom and groomsmen to bow to the ancestors, to heaven and earth (2 bows to ancestors, 2 bows outside to bow to heaven and earth) and then they go around the table to ask permission. After that, they prepared to leave to pick up the bride.
After the matchmaker sings the song “Asking for a Black Umbrella” and receives a cloth bag and umbrella from the head of the family, the wedding procession delegation will arrive at the bride’s house. People think that umbrellas are used to cover the rain and sun on the way to the wedding procession, and bags are used for carrying the bride’s necessary items when returning to her husband’s house.
When arriving at the bride’s house, if the door is closed, the matchmaker will have to sing the song “Please open the door”. Usually, the bride’s family is already open and ready to welcome the wedding procession delegation. After that, they invited each other to smoke. As soon as the matchmaker’s lyrics of the song “Please let us have tables and chairs” ended, the wine table was set up and both families drank wine together. The matchmaker hands over gifts to the bride’s family including pork, chicken, corn wine, Mèn mén, sticky rice, cash,…
The bride has now finished preparing the traditional outfit sewn by herself, stays in her own room, and is carefully instructed by her mother before going to her husband’s house. After the groom’s family asks permission, the bridesmaid will enter the room and lead the bride out.
The groomsman will kneel with the groom to the ancestors and the parents of the bride before bringing the bride to the groom’s house. After completing all procedures, the bride was led by two of her brothers/sisters in the family to the door and handed over to the wedding procession delegation. The wedding procession delegation will have to go throughout the village for everyone to witness.
According to custom, once the bride and groom have gone out the door, they are not allowed to look back at the bride’s parents’ house. Halfway through the wedding procession, the procession delegation has to stop and rest, setting out food and drinks for the matchmaker to perform a ceremony to invite the gods of the mountain and river.
Before entering the groom’s house, the whole group must stop in front of the door to let the groom’s father welcome the couple. He goes in front of the door with a rooster on his hand, and is ready to perform magic. He swings it left and right 3 times to ward off bad luck, welcome good luck, and performs the joining ceremony for the new bride.
At this time, the matchmaker will give the bride to the groom’s family. After reporting the success of the wedding procession, they raised warm cups of corn wine together, exchanged good wishes, and wished the young couple lasting happiness. The party at the groom’s house is now ready, the groom’s family leader invites everyone in the village, and the bride’s family stays to celebrate the new bride.
We hope this information helps you learn more about the beautiful and unique wedding customs of the H’Mong people in Vietnam!
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